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Growing up I was called the cookie monster and the biscuit eater. I loved bread. No... seriously... I LOVED bread. And bread-like things. French toast was my standard order when we ate out followed by pancakes. As I got older and spent time in the south, I discovered biscuits and gravy. O.M.G. I was in heaven!
Cookies and brownies were my friends when I would get sad or lonely or need a pick me up. I switched to whole grain thinking I was doing good. I even checked every package to be sure that one serving had a minimum of 3 grams of fiber. I paid extra for the good stuff and slathered it with butter, cinnamon and sugar, homemade jams, and syrup over egg-y French toast.
By my mid-30s, I was miserable. My stomach hurt all the time. I could hardly eat, and the day before I had gallbladder surgery my friend said I literally looked green. Like my skin had a green hue to it. For the first year or so after surgery, fatty foods can be troublesome so I picked up more of the processed stuff. I didn't miss meat, but I sure craved my bagels, French toast, and pancakes.
Fast forward a few years and I gained nearly 30 pounds. I wasn't sleeping well, and I was miserable. The turning point came in September 2013, when I lay in bed one morning in tears because I wasn't sure if I had pants that would button to wear to work.
It was time for a change.
I began to do my own research, read books, and realized that my whole way of eating needed to change if I wanted to fit into my pants again. I gave up wheat first, but I knew deep down that I had a much bigger problem.
I was addicted to sugar.
Getting rid of wheat made a huge difference. I wasn't losing weight, but I had stopped gaining so that was something. I was replacing my wheat-free foods with sugary alternatives, though. I was relying on candy and junk to deal with cravings and stress. It wasn't good. At all.
By December 2013, I had accepted that my problem was real and needed to be addressed if real change was to happen.
What stood out to me upon reading The 21-Day Sugar Detox by Diane Sanfilippo was how my food habits were rooted in my behavior as much as physical craving. I had a long road ahead of me, and real change would only happen when I accepted that certain foods are trigger foods for me and should be avoided.
Just because something can be paleofied, doesn't mean it should. And that doesn't mean you can have free reign with it either.
During my first detox in January 2014, I avoided the chocolate almond butter candies. They were too much like candy that I had a hard time limiting. I also made a conscious decision to avoid bread-like things, even if they were made with appropriate ingredients.
I heard a story once about an alcoholic who always drank out of a particular coffee cup. This cup was a trigger for him. As part of his recovery, he had to break the cup so he would not be tempted to use it and trigger a craving for alcohol again. It was hard. There was a lot of emotional attachment to that cup, and breaking it felt like he was losing a friend.
I think the same could be applied to the way we comfort ourselves with food. When I read that someone misses their morning toast with tea or coffee and wants to find a substitute, I wonder if they are missing the true benefit and purpose behind the detox? I don't judge. I still struggle with my own trigger foods. I have a love-hate relationship with wine at the moment. I love it when I'm drinking it, but I hate myself the morning after. I've made a decision that bread and bread-like things are not good for my overall health as I am too tempted to resume past unhealthy behaviors where they are concerned and I want to move forward not return to where I was before I started this journey.
The greatest change and benefit from the detox comes when you accept that some foods are gone from your diet forever. You stop missing them when you decide your health and well-being are more important than a piece of toast or plate of pancakes or whatever it is you struggle with.
The best advice I can give you is that if you are missing something, really missing it, ask yourself why. What purpose does this food fulfill for you that healthier food cannot? In most cases, it will have nothing to do with food and everything to do with the emotional attachment with it. That's where the real work is. That is where healing truly begins.
Happy detoxing, my yumtastic friends.
